Your twitter marketing team isn’t as clever as it think it is

Just a heads up, this is going to be a rant on the out-of-control and beat-to-death nature of social media marketing

In the wake of the Luis Suarez biting episode today, there was a flurry of Tweets from companies with various plays-on-words about biting, eating, and ripping and tearing.

And while I respect the speed at which they turned around a company-approved, patently non-offensive™, social media-approved jokes, I’ve got to ask how useful they really are. Personally, I hate puns in my everyday life, why would I like them from brands I don’t really care about?

I think the backbone of any social media marketing team has got to be ROI: how much money comes in as a direct result of this marketing action? Not retweets. Not @mentions. Not comments. Not likes. If you were even to dive down past the number of retweets, say, for Whole Foods’ tweet, you’ll find that about half of them are from fake or unpopular accounts (e.g. an account that has 20.4K tweets, 288 followers, and boasts instant classics like “Hoooooooooonegry”). What kind of money is that bringing in?


If you’re a marketing team and you’re pulling shit like this, you’re going to marketing hell. Not only because you’re wasting time and money on things that don’t work. Moreover, YOU’RE NOT EVALUATING AND QUESTIONING YOUR PERFORMANCE. My favorite thing about marketing is how recursive it is. You come up with an experiment, you put it out there in A/B (or /C/D/etc) form, and evaluate and try again. You kill your heroes. There are no idols. And being so unaware of yourselves that you keep on pumping out campaigns based around trending tweets and selfies is not only doing nothing, it’s cementing the perception that your company is out of touch.


Got an issue? Here’s a tissue…With my name: Alex Dou, and my email:, on it. I like building websites, analyzing Excel, and talking. Loooove talking.


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